428 THE ADVOCATE
VOL. 78 PART 3 MAY 2020
Dad always said it was better “to do something” than “to do nothing”. As
long as he was in a forward motion, he seemed comfortable. There could
be fine-tuning along the way, even if it meant redefining the outcome or
Dad would not invest in things he did not understand. He liked logging,
heavy machinery companies and railroads. He was not into technology. He
did not believe in diversifying. But as a good friend said, “As an investment
model it’s totally flawed in the long term, though it’s tough to argue against
because he’s consistently right.”
We all trusted Dad’s judgment, which, while not always perfect, was usually
right. He certainly always had everybody’s best interests in mind. He
was also comfortable being an advocate and moving things forward for people,
whether his family or his clients.
While he enjoyed his time with Mom, watching the news and listening to
the market and traffic reports on the radio (even though he wasn’t going
anywhere), retirement didn’t really work for Dad. We most remember Dad’s
(and our family’s) earlier activities, whether it was coaching our tee-ball
teams, the places he took us, his work ethic, what he built, how he was
demanding or how he supported us and was always there. These lessons
and experiences both directly and indirectly shaped us.
These life lessons allowed the four of us to work together, helping Mom
to move forward through this difficult time and through her later years.
While we have always worked together, sometimes it was a forced march.
But I now see the benefits and am grateful for the things that we have
learned from my Dad.
Near the end of his life, I said to him that he had done his work and he
had accomplished his tasks and if he was hanging on for us, that we were
OK, and he could go if it was time. I thought that I was probably saying goodbye,
for the last time. It was not.
He did not go right away, and I said the same thing to him again on
another occasion. He was stubborn and wanted to go on his own terms,
without somebody telling him when it was time or what to do. When I did
say goodbye for the last time, I expected to see him the next morning. He
died almost two hours after I left, on August 30, 2018.
I found comfort when I made phone calls sharing news of Dad’s passing.
The recurring theme I heard was how generous, kind and giving he was,
and how he had helped them. These are memories that I will cherish and
teach my kids about.
Dad was survived by his brother Rob, his wife Magdalene and me and my
brothers Rob and Steve and my sister Mary (who died in 2019). Dad also has