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Nov Advocate 2017

THE ADVOCATE 871 VOL. 75 PART 6 NOVEMBER 2017 LAP NOTES By Anonymous I finally became desperate enough to ask for help. I was born into a prosperous, good family in a good area of town. I went to good schools and I was, mostly, a good kid. I did well in school and in sports and was popular, with many friends. Life seemed good and fate seemed to smile on me. My parents were busy and upwardly mobile so we weren’t a tightknit family but that didn’t seem abnormal and I certainly had all my needs met and most of my wants. I suppose there were some signs of things being a bit out of whack. I needed to be at the top of my class and I would obsess over mistakes I had made: if I got ninety-eight per cent on a test I would dwell on and beat myself up over the question or questions I had missed. It wasn’t too bad and in fact fueled me to work harder. I also would be shy to approach groups, even groups of my friends. I often thought I had nothing to say or that I wasn’t interesting. I constantly compared myself to others and to the things they did better than me. Again this propelled me to work harder and learn new things; I learned to sing and play the guitar, to dance and to tell jokes. I now see that I learned to entertain and I didn’t learn to relate. That was what I knew and what I thought I had to do to fit in. I worked hard to be good at sports so I could make the various teams and fit in that way. Again this didn’t seem problematic. Rather it seemed kind of fun and exciting. I continued this way through university, playing varsity sports and intermural sports, joining clubs and doing well at school, although not as well because it didn’t seem to matter much to anyone I knew. The first early warning signs of a problem began in law school. I liked it right away and the law seemed to make sense to me. However, I wanted to be a trial lawyer and I found myself unable to speak in class. I was prepared


Nov Advocate 2017
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